Look away
by Sagakure
Summary: One-shot. Kaname has a secret, hidden deep in an underground compound no one but his closest allies know about. A secret he can't let go of, no matter how self-destructive that need is. Zero x Kaname, angsty bittersweet lemon & one-sided Aidou x Kaname.


_**Title: Look away.**_

_**Pairing:**__ Zero x Kaname, also some one-sided Aidou x Kaname._

_**Disclaimer:**__ I don't own Vampire Knight, this is a fanfic written for fun and for love of the series. I'm not making any money with it._

_**Warning:**__ SO DEPRESSING. Also, violence and cannibalism… :X Very dark fic, but with bittersweet moments and love too._

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"Kaname-sama…"

No words were needed, both were used to the ritual-like movements that had been repeated so often for so long now.  
Aidou handed Kaname the lidless box, and Kaname fished out of the pockets of his suit and pants his cell-phone, car keys and so on, before removing his belt and watch to place it all in the box. The two men remained in silence, the still air in the room only disturbed by the sound of the heavy watch and the ornate metal buckle of Kaname's belt hitting the bottom of the box Aidou held for the pureblood.

Aidou couldn't help but whisper quickly, "Kaname-sama, be careful."

The pureblood addressed his subordinate a small rueful smile out of the corner of his lips before turning away with no further response, and unlocking the heavy armored door of the buffer space leading to the to the room beyond the safe area they were in. He stepped in, and Aidou pushed the heavy door shut again and locked it behind him.

Kaname knew Aidou was always terribly concerned for what might happen to him beyond those heavy doors, but there were no promises he could make that would reassure the blond.

And by now, Aidou knew better than try to dissuade Kaname. At the very beginning, he had been adamant against what the pureblood had been trying to do. He'd even ferociously opposed it on and on, something unthinkable until then for whoever knew Aidou and the blind devotion he had for Kaname.

But over time, Aidou had understood that there was just no way around it, and that his only choices were to be an accomplice of Kaname's stolen moments of happiness, or to oppose them. The choice was then quickly made, and Aidou was now the pureblood's closest ally in this risky endeavor, however much the mere idea of it went against all that Aidou believed personally.

And nevermind that what was going on in that secret underground compound violated so many laws and taboos of the vampire society that Aidou couldn't even begin to count how many, math genius or not. Not even Kaname himself would be able to cover up the scandal up if someone found out.

Aidou set the box down on a small table nearby and quickly moved to his usual seat, in front of a row of monitors showing the contents of the buffer chamber and the main room from different cameras so that no angle would be missed.  
If they had used only one camera, there would have been the danger of missing something until it was too late, so they had a wide range of monitors to cover every single corner of the place.

Cain was already sitting on his own chair, his gaze fixed on the monitors, having been surveying the room for the past hours. Seiren was standing by the entry door, ensuring that there would be no interruption. She shouldn't be there, her shift was over already since much earlier that day –she'd been there before Cain, for hours already, and was due to go home and have some much needed sleep, but when she found out Kaname was coming, she absolutely refused to go until she was sure he would be safe. She would only leave the compound when he did too.

Most of the time, the surveillance was much simpler, done just to ensure that everything was normal inside the room, since the place was kept secret and there was little to no chance of the building attracting attention by itself when no fresh pure blood was being spilled within its walls. Kaname's close guard took turns dropping by to check if all was running smoothly.

It was when Kaname was around that it all became such a high security matter.

The doors to the outside of the compound would be sealed shut until Kaname left, to prevent any possibility of someone noticing the scent of his blood or breaking into the safehouse and finding out their terrible secret. And for as long as Kaname was inside, Aidou and Cain would watch everything from the monitors, so that Seiren and them could intervene fast enough at the slightest sign of danger for their leader.

From the monitor displaying the view of the inside of the buffer chamber, Aidou saw Kaname check that the heavy-weight door behind himself was well locked from the outside, then cross the chamber and unlock the –equally armored and heavy— door to the actual main room, which the cameras were primarily focused on. The buffer space was much like a simple corridor between the area where they could all freely be in, and the central room, for safety purposes.  
_That_ room, on the other hand, was much more complicated. It was a large square room, with a hospital feel to it and state of the art automated cleaning. Even with that, some darker stains remained in various areas where blood had seeped too deeply into the padding. The walls, ceiling and ground were entirely padded softly for the safety of its inhabitant… and of Kaname himself.

The buffer room too, was padded, although less thickly than the main room, just as an extra safety measure taken after a few incidents at the beginning. That measure proved useful regularly, as indeed, the very instant that the door to the inner room creaked open, a shadowed figure leapt out with a maddened growl, crashing into the pureblood's slender frame and sweeping him clean off his feet, slamming them both into the nearest wall. In the monitoring room, Aidou jolted when he saw Kaname hit the wall hard. The soft padding came in handy very often, even if it only diminished the force of the shock.

No matter how many times Aidou watched them, he'd never get used to it. He may help Kaname with this whole crazy idea, but that didn't mean it didn't still horrify him just as much each time he saw the whole ordeal. The first times he sat in the monitor room, he'd had to run out to throw up while Cain covered up for him. Several times, he'd interrupted it all and had the chamber open to get Kaname out. It was only the pureblood's repeated anger and disappointment, coupled with his very insistent assurances that he _'could handle a few blows'_ that made Aidou able to steel himself into watching the whole thing without interrupting it, much as it still horrified him. He knew how much the interruptions hurt Kaname deeply, and he held with all his resolve onto the will to not press the button that would flood the inner chamber with sedating gas to interrupt it all.  
But his hand itched to press it each and every time he saw a blow land on the pale face of his beloved leader, and in his mind Aidou cursed over and over the name of the creature doing this to Kaname.

The words Kaname would never allow any of them to voice aloud, those hated words, _'level E'_…

There was a reason why it was called 'level end'.

What they were doing was playing with nature, forcing something to go on that was not meant to do so. All for the sake of Kaname's love, or his 'whim', his inability to give up on something that they all knew was not meant to be.  
But Aidou also knew he had no right to ever voice his opinions on the matter, and that even if he could do it, all that he'd achieve would be hurting Kaname's feelings even further. In his darkest hours of rage and despair, the blond noble fantasized about stepping into the chamber flooded with gas, a protective mask over his face, and shooting the creature dead where it lay on the ground. _That would put an end to it all at last._ But that would also shatter forever whatever may be left of Kaname's meager chances for happiness…

So he knew well it was an impossible want. And so he also stayed silent and offered the only thing he could give Kaname: his support and his watchful eyes, so that in the event that things went badly, he would be the one to give the order for them to enter the chamber –with tranquilizer guns, in case the gas wasn't enough— and rescue Kaname.

In the buffer room, Kaname was currently trying to push back his attacker, gripping his wrists tightly and trying to hold him far enough that the other couldn't bite him yet. It was tricky, because not only the other was extremely strong, but he lacked completely any self-preservation instincts, and Kaname was the one who had to make up for it by holding the man in a way that prevented him from snapping his own shoulder out of socket to try and reach the pureblood's neck. The other's jaw opened and closed nervously several times, making a snapping noise as the teeth clacked together in frustration at not being able to tear out the pureblood's throat.

"Shh, shh, it's okay Zero, it's me, it's okay…"

The problem was, _Zero_, or to be more exact whatever Zero was now, knew very well that it was Kaname. His every instinct was screaming for the other vampire's blood, his muscles tense to the point of nearly tearing as he pushed farther and farther, trying to reach while Kaname held him at arm's length. Zero's strength had increased considerably over the years feeding off Kaname, and the pureblood actually had trouble keeping him away; his own arms were starting to tremble lightly from the effort put into holding back the younger vampire. Zero had always been physically stronger than Kaname, and his power rising over the years made him catch up well to what advantage Kaname's pureblood nature had originally given the brunet.

Kaname suddenly pushed back against the wall he was being pinned against, shoving them both sideways and using both the momentum and the surprise effect to let go of Zero quickly and break out in a dash running into the padded room the ex-hunter now lived in, successfully attracting him back in and barely having the time to push the door back to that it the autolock would shut before the silver-haired vampire reached him and threw him down onto the cushioned ground.

Zero pinned Kaname to the ground forcefully, roughly straddling him and quickly yanking the pureblood's head to the side. His fangs were tearing into Kaname's neck within instants, sinking into his flesh brutally, with the violence of desperate need and mindless hunger together. The pureblood clenched his teeth, bracing for the sensation of the fangs roughly penetrating his flesh, a mix of agonizing pain and brutal pleasure. He couldn't hold in a gasp of shock when Zero pulled back in a brisk movement and tore out a chunk of flesh from his neck. Blood spurted out freely, dripping in heavy dark drops onto the padded ground, and the ex-hunter relished in the scent invading the whole room, swallowing fast before burying his fangs back into the dark-haired vampire's rapidly bleeding neck.

Quickly scanning the room for the nearest camera, Kaname made sure to immediately signal that he was okay. Aidou had a vague tendency to panic when Zero fed off the pureblood's flesh rather than just his blood, and Kaname didn't want their time together to be interrupted because his blond protector freaked out at the sight. _He could handle this. _He _had_ handled much worse before, and he had to admit that a few times, he'd actually been a bit glad when Aidou did interrupt the session to pull him out, even if he utterly hated when Zero had to be sedated.  
It was perhaps one-sided for him to consider it okay for the ex-hunter to practically tear off his throat while feeding, and yet feel bad if Zero had to be shot with a sedative, but in Kaname's subconscious, he still viewed the other as much more likely to be damaged than him, and as such he had an instinctive need to be extra gentle and careful so that Zero wouldn't be hurt. The way Kaname saw it, he could handle almost unlimited pain, but it was unacceptable for Zero to suffer even a little.

Kaname's natural excessively protective urges towards his loved ones only got even more deeply ingrained as Zero lost his mind more and more. So much was lost already, if he lost the hunter's body on the top of his mind, there would be nothing left. He couldn't accept to part with Zero, he just_ couldn't_. It wasn't a matter of physical contact. It was… that it was all that was left of his beloved silver-haired hunter. He had to cling to what little there was left.  
He knew that no one in the entire vampire society would understand him and much less agree with him… He knew that even the very closest of his close circle of friends disapproved, even if they still obeyed and helped him. He knew what they were thinking, he could read it plainly in their eyes each time they saw him step into the chamber to be mauled by Zero.

And he knew well that it was all folly, that they were playing with something forbidden, that the repeated feedings off his pure blood and flesh over the ages had made Zero unbelievably strong, and that this was why his body was still in perfect state despite the fact that normally an ex-human should be dead since long by now, or at least show some sign of aging, while Zero remained perfect, showing no changes whatsoever.

Ah, how the new vampire council would be horrified if they knew… an actual level E, feeding off of nothing but pure vampire blood. It was already unforgivable for a level D, but for a level E, less than a beast in everybody's eyes, it was simply unthinkable, the mere idea of such a thing nothing more than an obscenity.

Not to mention that they had –unknowingly at first, and then inevitably- sort of created an aberration, for Zero's physical strength was well at pureblood level by now, if not higher, even if he didn't have all of the mental powers to match. It was lucky he _didn't_, considering how unbalanced his mind currently was.

The ex-hunter stopped feeding for a second to raise himself on his forearms and get a better look at his prey. His eyes were bloodlust red, a crazed look on his face, features drawn and taught as his lips were still slightly pulled back to reveal the bloodied fangs and small torn bits of flesh attached to his teeth. Kaname's blood ran freely out of the corners of the younger vampire's mouth, running down his neck and dripping onto the pureblood's chest. There was no trace whatsoever of Zero left in those eyes, just the beast within, the Vampire, or worse yet, the Level E, for that was much worse than just a vampire; a vampire was a being with a mind and a conscience, while a level E was nothing more than the very physical personification of the crazed hunger itself, insanity incarnate, caring for nothing other than _feeding, feeding and feeding_. And killing, mauling, maiming, gutting, tearing. All that one could do to reach _the blood_, to drown into the delicious crimson substance, cover his body in it and flood his mind in red, the only thing that could appease the constantly buzz of the horrendous **thirst** in his mind, the only moment when he'd feel less crazed.

So be it, tear and maim, paint the world red for the sake of those few moments where the thirst made itself less bad.

_Paint the walls with pure vampire blood._

A low growl in his throat, the silver-haired vampire gripped the front of Kaname's shirt and jacket, tearing it all open, fabric giving way quick under the claws, buttons flying away and rolling off on the cushioned ground they lay on.

Kaname shuddered in apprehension. He was never sure of what might happen, as Zero became more and more unstable and unpredictable over the years. But this was the man he loved, regardless of what he might have become, and so the pureblood's cheeks colored slightly as he refrained from giving in to the instinctive reaction of covering his bare skin up with his arms.

In the past, Kaname had considered perhaps wearing something different to go into Zero's room, since he knew well that inevitably his clothes would be destroyed each time. But he didn't want to enter it as if he was visiting a beast. He was visiting _Zero_, and he wanted to look like himself, and to look his best for him, so he wore what he normally would wear for a date with Zero, and prepared himself as someone would prepare themselves to go meet their lover rather than to go be mauled by a beast, even going as far a making sure to always wear a whiff of Zero's favorite perfume – the hunter had liked to smell it on him in the past, so Kaname still did it now.

Sometimes, the preparations alone made him feel absolutely miserable, further driving home the feeling that this was all futile, and that he was fighting against something he could never defeat. And yet, he had nothing else he could do, so he just went on with it – a few moments with Zero, even this way, were better than nothing at all. Far better than accepting that it was over already, had been over for years now.

The ex-human had stopped focusing on Kaname's neck for a moment and was staring at him intently now. The pureblood automatically raised a hand to cup his cheek in a gentle caress. Either thinking the approaching shape was a threat or simply attracted by the scent of the pure blood inside Kaname's veins, Zero yanked that arm to the side, the claws of his other hand swiftly slashing at the cloth of the cuff and tearing the whole sleeve open, before the ex-hunter sank his fangs onto the pale underside of Kaname's forearm.

The pureblood tensed up, but let him do as he pleased. Meanwhile, he used the fact that Zero was currently distracted by his arm to cover the wound on his neck with his other hand, in hopes of quenching the blood flow so that he would stop bleeding all over the place. He didn't mind if Zero felt like bleeding him dry, but he'd rather it not be wasted on the ground.

Zero was in one of _those_ moods today. The moods when blood just _wasn't enough_, when he desired the very flesh of his lover, and bite after bite, marked Kaname's body until his clothes were in tatters deeply stained of crimson. Kaname flinched with each bite, jaw tensing as he prepared himself for the horribly foreign feeling of his flesh being torn out, a feeling he never got used to no matter how many times it had happened over the years. Years of bandages tight under his clothes, hiding the wounds and bruises, avoiding the public eye –and its inevitable side effects when it came to vampires, who had impeccable sense of smell— for a short while after each time he visited Zero, waiting until his wounds healed up so that no one would know that under the silk and impeccable suits, he was torn raw, his body a living proof of how much he belonged to Zero. He would give him his very flesh, his very life, if the other so wished.

In the monitor room, Aidou's knuckles were getting white against the borders of the table as he watched the look of rapt love in Kaname's eyes, filled with warmth more than pain, even as Zero's fangs ravaged the brunet's graceful body. Pale skin marred with blood and gruesome gashes showed in between torn clothes, and Aidou let out a choked sob, his own eyes fogging up with tears.

_If it had been me holding you in my arms, Kaname-sama, I would have kissed every inch of your skin with reverential care. Never would I dare cause you pain._

_But then, it's not me you love._

Aidou rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes hard, chasing away the tears, forcing himself to focus on the painful image in front of him, so that he could go on doing the only thing he could do for Kaname, protect him by watching over the whole thing and making sure the pureblood was okay.

Back in the padded room, Zero's madness-fueled endless hunger was starting to get momentarily sated. Pure vampire blood was so much headier of an elixir than any human blood in the world could ever hope to be, and the flesh of a pureblood was so much more potent even. The way their physiology worked made that blood and flesh were not much different, the latter merely a more concentrated version of the former. It was why Zero had become so strong, which was not a reassuring thing for Kaname each time he locked himself in there with Zero and found himself more and more at the mercy of the other's strength, but it had some good sides – it also meant that occasionally, when Zero had fed enough, the hunger would abide for a little, the cloud of madness lifting momentarily, if just a little. By now, Zero was too far gone for Kaname's blood to prevent the fall, since it was too late, but it did help a little sometimes, momentarily at least.

"Ka……Kana…me…?"

Zero's voice quaked softly, the syllables coming out slowly and hesitantly, as if he was only now recognizing the person in front of him. Which in a way, he was, since until that second he'd only seen the blood rushing through the prey's veins, and his own raging visceral need to take it by any means. His eyes unfocused a little before refocusing, now a bit less brightly red than before, the soft violet hue they originally had showing slightly between the red haze that still tainted his vision. His confused gaze met Kaname's bloodstained figure, and the pureblood smiled beautifully, his eyes filled with so much love and pain that Zero felt a huge lump in his throat. Kaname raised a bloodied arm to caress the younger vampire's silver hair.

"My love…"

The pain in the pureblood's eyes wasn't even about his own wounds, and even with the shadow of insanity still so close in the back of his mind, Zero could tell it was sadness for him, for what he was now.

The times Zero could still think and recognize himself and what he was now, he'd endlessly begged Kaname to put an end to it. Begged, threatened, yelled, glared, tried all he could, but that was the one thing Kaname could not, would not do for him.

And hate it as he might, Zero had come to understand that if he were to ever succeed at forcing his lover to kill him, the same act would indubitably destroy Kaname as well.

So, horrible as it may be, the ex-hunter had given up on trying to convince Kaname. He now hoped for nature to take its course and put an end to him sooner or later, resigned by lack of a better option to go on this way if anything until Kaname would hopefully realize the nonsense of it all and accept that it was finally time to let go.

Zero didn't want to admit that he knew well the pureblood would never accept that. There was no hope for them, they were both utterly lost. All they had was the fleeting moments together when Zero was somewhat conscious enough to not maul Kaname.

The pureblood's shaking fingers slid between the ex-hunter's soft locks of hair, frowning softly when he saw he was staining them with his own blood. Zero bent down, and for a moment Kaname expected his lover to bite him again, but instead, he pressed his lips against the pureblood's, softly, almost as if he was afraid of breaking him.

Zero's breath was shaky, coming out in little puffs as he fought the madness with all he had, desperately trying to keep it at bay even if just for a moment longer, just one more moment of peace with Kaname, before it all returned and he lost himself in the thirst again, until the next time random luck made him conscious again. Those moments of relative sanity and elusive lucidity were becoming shorter and more and more farther apart, which in turn made the two treasure it so much more each time they had an instant together, _truly_ together like that, without the thirst tearing it all apart.

There was no time to waste. If he could choose, Zero might have wanted to just hold his lover in his arms for as long as he could, and apologize over and over for ever single bite, every single tear, every single drop of Kaname's blood splattered all over the ground and the walls. They were laying in a pool of it, the padded ground soaked in crimson, Kaname's shallow panting and his softly heaving chest making so much more obvious how violently Zero had taken him.

_No, the level E. It was… it wasn't me… Must… must focus, must not think… the… blood… …_

The ex-hunter's eyes flared into a burning red once more, gaze rapt staring at the pureblood's throat just beneath him. Kaname tensed and prepared for a new bite, but Zero grit his teeth shut hard, refusing to let his fangs approach the already much too bruised and torn skin of his lover.

_A little longer… just a little longer… I can do this, I can hold it… away… protect you… protect you just for a little bit… from myself… make you happy… make you… happy… and whole… just… for a little… bit…longer…_

Zero was trembling with the sheer effort of willpower he was making. He clung with all he had to that desperate will, and somehow, managed to press his lips against the pureblood's throat softly, before straightening back up, a trembling breath caressing Kaname's face as their eyes met.

"I"m… I… I didn't… want… I…"

"I know… I know Zero. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all of this… for this room, for the captivity, for all of this, for…for…"

A tear rolled down the pureblood's cheek, leaving a trail on his bloodied skin, before a second one left a twin mark on the other side of his face.

"No, no… no, Kaname… Kaname…"

Zero silenced the brunet's soft apologies by covering his lips with his own, a determined hand disappearing into Kaname's hair, caressing the pureblood and tangling into the hair at the back of his head, softly gripping it as if to ground himself on something, like an anchor to help keep the insanity away for a little longer.  
He didn't want Kaname of all people apologizing, especially not to him or now. He didn't know how long he still had as himself, and he wanted to leave Kaname something to remember him by, until the next time they had a moment like this, at least. The ex-hunter's other hand slid down the pureblood's bruised side in a soft caress before settling on his hip, and the kiss deepened. Kaname shuddered softly under his lover's touch, tears still rolling down his face. Zero too, had tears in his eyes, from holding up so much pent-up despair, but also from the sheer effort he had to keep making to stay lucid and conscious, or at least, to stay himself.

The pureblood's clothes were already so torn that there wasn't much to be done in the way of undressing him, but Zero tried to, as if it mattered, not because the clothes may be still salvageable, but because he found those little gentle attentions important, to make the difference between the beast that tore the brunet's clothes to rags, and his lover's touch, carefully sliding the torn silk off to reveal the delicate skin beneath.

Zero's lips, followed by his hands, mapped every corner of the pureblood's body in a succession of caresses that had Kaname shivering with delight, his knees shaking softly as the pleasure build up. The hand the ex-hunter's had left on the brunet's hair was still caressing Kaname's head, before it started to slide down the back of his neck.

Zero's lips closed around a perk nipple, his tongue flicking out to tease it while he softly rolled the other one between his fingers. Kaname couldn't hold the moans in anymore even if he had wanted to, and clung more heavily to the other's shoulders, his torn sleeves still hanging from his arms and giving him a look of ravaged beauty that was both touching and intensely arousing.  
Zero's hand was sliding down the brunet's perspiration-slicked back now, and the pureblood trembled and heaved softly against him, anticipation building up on the current sensations and heightening his pleasure even more.

Zero's fingers finally had reached their destination, and caressed the pureblood's soft mounds before wandering down his cleft to run a fingertip tentatively around the tight ring. There was so much blood spilled that Zero only had to coat his fingers in it while he caressed Kaname, to have enough to prepare him.

Even with the utter bittersweetness of the moment and how hard Zero was still having to hold onto his sanity, he had to chuckle at how cute he found Kaname's reaction, automatically pressing himself more fully onto Zero's finger, needy and inviting.

Kaname was a picture of temptation, flushed attractively, groaning softly as he welcomed his lover's touch completely, no room left for embarrassment or any struggle for dominance. They simply belonged to each other.

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"Look away, Hanabusa… look away." Sighing softly, Cain eyed the images on the monitor, wishing his cousin would stop submitting himself to something that he knew well was terribly painful for him.

"I can't." The blond rasped, his voice dying down to a whisper, eyes glued to the screen.

"We are here to watch and ensure all goes safely. Or as safely as it can go. I can't look away."

"But… is it not to hard? To see it? Especially… especially for you, Hanabusa?"

There was a silence then, the younger aristocrat just gazing at the screen for a while before he replied.

"The pleasure on Kaname-sama's face… It makes it all worth. I wouldn't dream of interrupting that."

With the tip of a trembling finger, Aidou caressed the image of Kaname on the screen, and a single silent tear rolled down his cheek. But there was a smile on his lips, one born of love and devotion for the pureblood currently coming slowly undone in the arms of his lover. Aidou knew he could never be the person to make Kaname feel that way, but he'd be there for everything else Kaname may need. Even if that meant watching someone else have what he desired above anything else in the world.

Not Kaname's body, but the pureblood's love.

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The very tip of the ex-hunter's middle finger pushed in carefully, and Kaname arched against him, eyelids fluttering in delight. _How he'd needed it, how he'd wanted it… _Not the mere physical sensation, but _Zero's touch on him_. Zero claiming him, making him his, all over again. That simple thing alone, made him feel whole more than anything else ever could.

The younger vampire's digit slid in deeper, and Kaname parted his own legs automatically, wrapping them around his lover's hips and offering himself to him completely.

Zero's other arm slid around Kaname's back, lifting him little ways off the ground, while his fingers worked his entry up, a second digit already pressing against it to join the first one soon. The combined sensations from Zero preparing him while still teasing his nipples with a playful tongue were making Kaname whimper softly in almost impatient delight.

Zero's breath trembled on the pureblood's pale skin, putting a tiny distance between them to admire the sight of Kaname's nipples thoroughly flushed, glistening and slightly puffed up from the insistent contact of Zero's lips and tongue. He wanted to nip at them softly, knowing that it used to make Kaname nearly lose it, but he didn't trust himself with his teeth anywhere near Kaname's skin at the moment. As it was, it was an immense effort to engulf the hardened nubs in his mouth without letting his fangs pierce into them. He wanted to _so bad_, but he was afraid of his mind being swept into the hunger again the very instant Kaname's delicious blood poured into his mouth.

Focusing on the pleasure rolling in waves off the beautiful brunet beneath him, Zero forced his mind to avoid the dangerous territory and concentrate instead on the beautiful little mewls of pleasure slipping past Kaname's flushed lips each time that Zero's fingers found their target within the pureblood's welcoming body. Kaname was beautiful, bucking into the ex-hunter's fingers, lips parted, legs quivering, his whole body just begging to be taken, claimed deeply and filled completely by his lover.

"Please, Zero… please…"

Kaname's voice was catching in his throat, his breath hitching again as the ex-hunter hit that spot inside him that made Kaname's eyes almost roll back in his head each time. The pureblood's back arched softly, the movement causing his nipples to rub exotically against the other's equally lean but slightly more muscular chest.

Zero hesitated. It was maybe a bit too early for it as he'd just gotten Kaname wide enough for two fingers, but time was a luxury they didn't have, and the brunet was writhing beneath him so enticingly that it was hard to resist. Kaname may not be quite ready physically, but there was no doubt he was _ready_, or at least far needy enough to put up with the pain of being stretched too soon. Zero didn't want Kaname to have to put up with anymore pain, but at this point it would probably be nothing compared to the wounds the pureblood was still sporting, and Kaname was pressing him so urgently…

"Hmm… Kaname, I'm going to go slow… stop me if I'm hurting you."

Zero pressed himself against the pureblood's slick opening, the tight ring stretching up slowly, willingly welcoming the invasion of the ex-hunter's hardened body. Zero's arms were shaking softly from the effort of not claiming Kaname to the core in a single thrust. Instead, he went slow but steadily, supporting himself on his arms on each side of the pureblood to avoid laying his weight onto him and worsening Kaname's wounds, hands gripping the pureblood's sides to try and hold him down to prevent Kaname from trying to buck into him and impale himself on the ex-hunter's hard member faster.

"Shh, slow…slow… _Ohhh_..._Kaname…!!"_

Whatever Zero may have been trying to say was lost and turned into a moan as he found himself finally fully sheathed in the quivering heat of his lover's body. _Kaname was just __**so tight**__._ It was mindblowing. Zero let his forehead drop onto his lover's chest for a moment to adjust to the amazing sensations, and to leave Kaname time to get used again to the size filling him. The pureblood was more than willing, but visibly having a little trouble, shaking slightly from how large the body stretching him was, and trying to will his muscles to relax and accommodate the other's size all the way. Even after so many years, every single time Zero claimed the brunet's body, it was like the very first time, courtesy of the pureblood nature, that made Kaname's body regenerate from anything. It was both a blessing and a curse, although over time they had grown used to it enough that it was far more the former than the latter. He wasn't shaking only from pain. It was pure unadulterated bliss as well…

Kaname shuddered uncontrollably, Zero's hardness filling him so wonderfully completely and stimulating areas of him that had been feeling so terribly deprived and forlorn lately. He didn't care that it was too soon, or that he was stretched so wide that he felt well near to splitting in two. It may hurt, but it hurt_ so deliciously._ When the ex-hunter started moving finally, Kaname practically sobbed from delight.

It was a feast of senses, enrapturing pleasure mingling wildly with near excruciating pain in a exquisite torture. And then, with each thrust, the pleasure build up higher and higher, and pain was forgotten. Kaname's head was swimming, his body going on an overload of sensation and making him unable to think or do anything coherent other than clinging to Zero's frame and rocking into the movements of his hips, his thighs wrapped tight around Zero's waist, his lips parted in a beautiful mix of moaning, panting and nearly keening as he felt himself closer and closer to the edge. He clung dizzily to Zero, burying his face in the crook of his lover's neck, choking on his own breath from how good he felt. The fire building within him matched in everything the one within Zero. Right about now, the ex-hunter was nearly breathless from delight, pounding into his lover more and more urgently as the need for release grew more intensely. In those moments, he could swear it felt like every drop of blood in his body, every degree of his temperature, it was all focused on a single spot of his anatomy, a spot that was plowing into the pureblood's writhing body with single-minded dedication, claiming every single inch of the irresistible sheath he buried himself in over and over.

Zero's fingers dug into the soft skin of the pureblood's hips, nails nearly breaking the skin in the urgency to ram himself more deeply into him, to fill him again and again. And Kaname was just as intent on helping Zero on that most delightful task, arching his body to be right at the perfect angle for Zero's thrusts to hit him right in the right spot, completely breathless and rocking wildly into his lover's slick arousal.

They were a raw mass of flesh and desire working together towards a blissful release.

"Ah, Zero! Zero!!"

"Kanameee…unnh…!!"

It wasn't long before they were both reaching completion almost simultaneously, the heat of the desire that had pooled in their groins and build up until now finally breaking free, exploding in a tidal wave of pleasure that swept them both under and sent them crashing into pure unbridled delight powerful enough to make them both nearly blank out.

They lay there, spent, contented, holding each other close and catching their breath, bodies still tingling in the delicious hazy aftermath of a spectacular orgasm. Zero's arm was still resting around the base of Kaname's back, his other hand caressing the pureblood's chocolate-brown hair. Kaname was inhaling Zero's scent, nuzzling his chest and committing to memory every single little detail and reaction, so that he could hold onto those memories during the painful times when Zero looked at him with a beast's eyes and didn't truly recognize him.

Pushing some of the silky brown tresses aside with his lips before pressing a gentle kiss onto the pureblood's forehead, Zero whispered a question that always haunted him, one that he'd often repeated over the years, more and more as his condition worsened. "Kaname… are you happy like this?"

The pureblood's eyes were soft, if a bit moist, when they met the ex-hunter's gaze and he replied.

"In this life, you can only do with what you have. It may not be easy everyday, but… I'm really glad for what life gave us."

No matter how bad it could get, he would never regret any sacrifice made for the man holding him right now.

Looking back, their history was pretty unconventional. Kaname had originally only seen Zero as a pawn to use in protecting his beloved Yuuki, and had never expected that he would end up falling in love for the moody hunter turned vampire. Nor would he have expected that Zero would end up harboring the same feelings for him. But they did, and Kaname tried his best not to have regrets for all the things he'd done different if he'd known that from the start.

And Zero understood well what he meant, because deep inside he was the same. So he pulled the pureblood closer and rained soft kisses on his hair as they held onto each other and exhaustedly feel asleep in each other's arms, focusing on the loving moment at hand, and not on the fact that by the time they woke up, Zero wouldn't be himself anymore.

Aidou would take care of waking Kaname up first, to make sure the pureblood had enough time to clean up before leaving, and as always, Kaname would insist on lovingly cleaning Zero first, then watching him sleep for as long as he could, sitting next to him and caressing his hair, only finally accepting to leave the room and let Aidou take care of his wounds when the ex-hunter started to stir, about to wake up again.

It would then be back to the same old routine of bandages and furtive looks from behind armored glass or through the security monitors, until he could come see him in person once more.

And regardless of how much it may hurt, or of the fact that Kaname never knew for sure whether it would take one visit or several months before they were blessed with another of Zero's moments of regained lucidity, the pureblood would go on, for the whole eternity if he had to.

In Kaname's eyes, even an eternity of agony would have been a small price to pay for a moment of happiness next to his beloved hunter.

_._

_._

_._

_~ The End ~_

_._

* * *

_Written for a great part while listening over and over to Apocalyptica's "I don't care" (feat the singer from Three Days Grace, a band I love), except that the title and most of the lyrics **totally** don't match that fic, but uhm, nevermind that. XD;;; *LOL* (It's awesome lyrics for other ZxK plot bunnies, though. ;D *lol*)  
I just really liked the song. XD *adds to her VK inspirational playlist, to fuel other future fics*_

_The fic was supposed to end after Aidou said he couldn't possibly look away, because much as it hurt to see Kaname being taken by Zero and all, he __**has**__ to keep looking, because it's the only thing he can do to protect him. :D_

_Of course, ending it there would have been terribly cruel, so… hopefully you enjoyed the rest of the lemon. XD XD; *lol*_

_This one-shot was actually written something like almost an year ago, but it sat in my folder for so many months waiting until I picked it up again and finished it. ^^;  
Tons of my fics go through months of vegetative stuff in the limbo of my fic folder like that. XD; *has so many more waiting to be tweaked or finished* (Including two Aidou x Kaname fics. X3 *must finish them sometime*)_

_I didn't mention it in the notes at the beginning because it would spoil it a bit, but it's kind of AU, because Zero shouldn't become a level E anymore, presumably. He said in chapter 50 that due to drinking Kaname's blood, and Ichiru's blood, both together passed to him enough of Shizuka's blood that he was now stable/not falling. Well, we don't know for sure if it's forever safe, but it might be... anyway, yeah, I wrote this fic long before that, so I didn't know then, hence why he does becomes one in the fic...  
That and the fact that the possibility of him falling creates such an angst potential for fics, so it's an irresistible subject, terrible as it would be if it happened in the actual manga. *crosses fingers and hopes it won't* ^^ _

_--_

_Annnd, **sorry that Cradle of Blood is late.** :X  
I meant to update today, but a scene is getting longer than planned after all and I'm not sure it will be ready today after all. (Again. T_T; Sorry!!)  
Things have been pretty busy lately. ^^;;_


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